I was sitting in my office setting up a helmet and Ouija board to talk with a loyal Cosimanian minion in Taiwan because it is a means of communication that cannot be tapped and I turned to see a demon standing next to me. I looked and asked, “What can I do for you?”
“I want your soul!” came the rumbling response.
I laughed and said, “Well, I’m Uncle Chuckie and you can’t have it.”
At this point the demon looked really embarrassed and said, “I’m sorry sir. I didn’t know. I mean I was out looking for souls and there you were with the Ouija board so I just thought…”
I laughed again and said, “That’s quite all right. Happens all the time. Think nothing of it. Anyway, as long as you are here is there anything I can do for you.”
“Well, sir, it’s a little hard to ask this but my kid would really like your autograph. It would make every other kid at the devil academy really jealous.”
“What’s his name?”
“Adamalius.”
So I took out a piece of paper and wrote, “To my dear friend and future servant, Adamalius, Uncle Chuckie Cosimano.” and handed it to the demon who thanked me profusely and then disappeared.
No rest for the wicked, no rest at all.