“You mean you never…”

Well, until this thing gets off the ground and acquires an audience, I might as well tell one of my favorite stories.

One afternoon when I was ten, my father and I were tinkering in the garage doing something or other when a new neighbor wandered by to say hello and get to know his new neighbors.  Anyway, he and my father talked for a while while was tinkering and the conversation turned, unfortunately, to the subject of child-rearing.

Well, the neighborperson was very surprised to learn that I was never, ever, spanked as a child (much less as an adult, ha ha) and kept repeating several times at least, “You mean you never spank him?

My father saw that I was starting to get a bit, well, steamed and he was losing patience with this nonsense as well, so he turned to me and simply said, “Charles,” and at that point the knife which had not been in my hand a second before flew across the garage to stick quivering in the 2×4 wall joist on the other side.

“No one spanks Charles,” my father said, calmly as the poor neighbor stood there, his face bloodless with fright.

And after nearly fifty years I still remember how proud my father was as he stood there glowing at the quality of my aim.


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3 Responses to ““You mean you never…””

  1. Brent Says:

    Awesome story Uncle Chuckie haha, you still that good with a knife?

  2. drpsionic Says:

    I’m not sure. It has been a long time.

  3. hex Says:


    That’s a great story. My father had threatened to beat me with his belt for years, when he finally carried out the threat after some atrocity or another I had commited, he was perplexed afterwards that it had no effect on me. He really shouldn’t have spent all that time desensitizing me to physical violence.

    Your parents had the better idea though.

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