Apologize?

I always teach my students never to apologize for anything unless a close friend or a loved one is involved. An apology implies that the opinions of the offended are somehow of value and they are not. On the contrary, the act of apology to appease total strangers is a very real sign of weakness and once you do it your life is never your own again, your words are never your own again. You end up going through life looking over your shoulder wondering who’s precious sensitivities may be disturbed. You cannot live that way and be human. So I teach my students that every morning they should get up, and visualize themselves as a tank crushing its way through life and if someone gets run over in the process, well you just hose off the treads and keep going.

I’ve always liked a paraphrase of the dying words of Mad Anthony Wayne which says, “Offended are they? Well, God damn them! Let them be offended!” And if I had my way every writer in the world would have those words painted on the wall above their computers. The proper attitude is, “I said it. I meant it. If you don’t like it, go to hell.”

To demand an apology is to invite the other person to tell you to go hell. To demand a public apology is to invite nuclear war. Once people realize that, they make no such demands. Sure, there are going to be folks who will not like you, but so what? Not everyone is going to like you. But when you look at yourself in the mirror, you will like you and that is what matters.

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One Response to “Apologize?”

  1. Brent Says:

    Truly wise words Uncle Chuckie. It inspires me to be less apologetic to the turds who often harass me.

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