Crowds

I don’t like crowds. Crowds make me uncomfortable. Crowds make me nervous. Crowds make me downright paranoid. Fortunately we do not voluntarily crowd very often in our culture. We reserve the mob scenes for drunken people on New Years Eve or when some group of overpaid, large people are being honored for being able throw a ball throw a hoop more often than other groups of large, overpaid people. And on certain bizarre occasions a politician will assemble his lazy public employees, who are not going to be doing any work anyway, to gather to hear the announcement that does not come, leaving them looking even more stupid than God made them.

You never would find me in such a gathering. You never would have. For one thing, I really do not care which group of large, overpaid people manages to throw a ball through a hoop more often than other groups of large, overpaid people, and second, I don’t like being part of a crowd. My instinct is to be elsewhere. There is something about being jammed into an amorphous mass of unwashed humanity that is offensive both to the mind and to the soul. Just think of the mob of lazy, good-for-nothing, public employees standing in puddles of their own drool…

Thus, to paraphrase Danton, “Where is the mob going. I must be somewhere else.”

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