St. Conrad of Marburg

Today is the feast of my patron saint, St. Conrad of Marburg, patron saint of evildoers and sadists.

Conrad of Marburg was a holy man who made is reputation as the spiritual director of St. Elizabeth of Hungary. He was very zealous in his work with her and when she was accused of spending too much time alone with him, she said it was true and then produced the whip that he used on her.

In 1233 he was made Inquisitor and traveled up and down what is now Germany in righteous pursuit of heresy, torturing and burning everyone he could get his holy and righteous hands on, with the aid of his blessed and holy assistants of course. And in that work he continued until this day in 1233 when he was met by Count Henry of Sayn, who, having been summoned to the Inquisitorial court had made the wise and holy decision to strike first. And that he did, righteously chopping holy Conrad and his holy helpers into holy little bits.

Upon hearing the news of this, Pope Gregory IX, a good and righteous and holy man, immediately declared Conrad to be a martyr and a saint, ordering a chapel to be built in his honor at the spot of his ascension into heaven. Then a bit later letters arrived from the Bishops of Germany praising God for having removed St. Conrad from their midst. This caused a problem for Gregory in that they did not even have the telephone back then so he could not call St. Peter and explain that he had sort of acted a bit hastily, so St. Conrad of Marburg was quietly forgotton.

Advertisements

2 Responses to “St. Conrad of Marburg”

  1. Bocatri Says:

    I can’t argue with the fact that the Church was a bit more fun those days. But as people become less zealous, jobs become more boring.

    It makes things so much harder for people like us who have to deal with their bullshit now that everything’s so subtle.

  2. Spiritual Direction Saint Says:

    […] St. Conrad of Marburg « The Wit and Wisdom of Uncle Chuckie Conrad of Marburg was a holy man who made is reputation as the spiritual director of St Elizabeth of Hungary. He was very zealous in his work with her and when she was accused of spending too much time alone with him, […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: