Archive for April, 2016

We know the Bible got it wrong.


The Adam and Eve story fails at the most basic level. Look at it this way. How boring could the Garden of Eden be? Think of spending 50,000 years doing nothing but running around naked, eating the fruit of the permitted trees and having sex. That is going to wear pretty thin after a couple of centuries.

So poor Eve is sitting there bored out of her mind while Adam is sleeping. Nothing else to do, is there? Along comes Fred the Serpent. After all, Adam was charged with naming every living thing but God sort of forgot to tell him what names were, so everything was named Fred.

Well, Fred the Serpent says to Eve, “Want to do something interesting?”

Eve says, “Of course!”

Fred the Serpent had introduce Adam and Eve to BDSM so she listened to every idea he had since.

“Try a bite of this fruit. It’s from that tree you aren’t supposed to eat from.”

“But that God person said if we did that we would die, whatever that is supposed to mean.” Seems God forgot to explain that too. He was might forgetful in those days.

“Do you call this living? This will give you the knowledge of Good and Evil, so you can choose Evil and grow up to be like your Uncle Chuckie.”

And Eve said, “Is that all? Can’t it give us the knowledge of something we can use, like computers?”

And Fred laughed and said, “Don’t worry, you will get that too. And the time will come when you will know that Good and Evil are just words that do not matter.”

It took us long enough, but finally we’ve done it. We have learned, at long last, that good and evil are but words used to control the minds of men, useless against those who do not believe it. “And with strange eons, even death may die.” The world is ours, nature is ours, to do with as we will.