Archive for December, 2010

Fahrvergnugen

2010/12/18

As Christmas and New Years come closer most of us will be on the roads going somewhere, wishing we were home and warm and not particularly looking forward to seeing the people on the way. And there is one group of people whom no one wants to see except in their coffins–in-laws, er, no. Wrong post

The people no one wants to see except in their coffins are traffic cops.

Now, I think just about everyone who drives has this moment of paranoid imagination in which they just sort have this image in appear in their heads of looking the rearview mirror and seeing Satan’s Flashing Lights. Well, your Uncle Chuckie has a cure for that.

You see, the problem is that the image in your head can become an attractive thoughtform, actually bringing that horrific moment into physical reality. And there is no real way of preventing that image from coming into your head because the danger is there every time an honest person gets on the road with those vampires. What is to be done?

It is very simple. You cannot get rid of the image, but you can change it.

Here is what you do. Sit at home and let the image come into your mind. But then, when you see the flashing vampire lights, visualize a photon torpedo going from the back of your car into the police car behind you, exploding and filling the interior of the police car with flames that totally engulf the pig who becomes roast pork. That image is usually sufficient but you may want to add to the fun by seeing the flaming police car go spinning off the road to explode in a ditch at the side.

Work on this. Do it often enough that everytime the unwanted image enters your mind, it will be transformed from you being stopped to the cop dying in flame. Have it become instinctual.

Now, what will happen is not a literal explosion, fun though that may be. What will happen is that you will create a field of sorts around the rear of you car that will make any traffic cop who gets near it have an uneasy feeling that that is someplace he really does not want to be and he will back off into the distance and wait for someone less dangerous.

It really works and you will ever so much safer when you are on the road. It also works on drunks and tailgating truck drivers.

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An Idea

2010/12/09

I have little use for the notion of international co-operation. In spite of that I have a little idea that no one is going to do but would be fun if they did and that would be International Destroy a Holy Site day.

Nations agreeing to it would send fleets of missles to obliterate every sacred site on the face of the earth, turning them into glowing, radioactive holes in the ground. I have no idea what effect that would have on the worshippers, but it would be so much fun to see it happen.