Having no use whatsoever for the idea of goodness, I am continually mystified by those who wish to be defined as good by their fellows. Can’t they understand that when they do that, they give everyone permission to examine every aspect of their lives and object when they do not live up the standards of everyone else.
The cure is simple. Whenever anyone says you must be X to be good, look that person squarely in the eye and say, “I’m not good.” The result is hilarious. They have no idea how to respond, or to respond at all.
It terrifies them.