Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Martian in the Iron Mask Day

2018/02/25

Wahad!

martian mask

Happy Martian in the Iron Mask Day.  A good day to use mind control on anti-gun morons. Make them do something stupid.

Wait, they did something stupid when they were born.

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Psionics Against Gun Control

2018/02/23

In the name of Uncle Chuckie, the compassionate , the merciful:

In the 1940s, A. E. van Vogt wrote a story called, “The Weapons Shop” and in it was the motto, “The right to buy weapons is the right to be free.”  And, once again, our freedom is being threatened and it is time to use psionics to do something about it.  Thus your Uncle Chuckie has come up with a solution.  You will need to do as follows.

Print up a photo of the lastest poster thing of the gun grabbers.  In this case one of the deformed and retarded Tide Pod eating morons the media is trotting out, but any of them will do.  The specific person is not important.

Take two ordinary targets and sandwich the photo between them, gluing the edges together.  The reason for this is because people who run gun ranges sometimes frown upon using photographs for targets and this way they cannot see anything.   No one is going to notice if the target is a bit thicker.

That being done, set up your radionic box with a photo of you on the input plate and a satellite picture of the country on the output and set the rate.  Now go to the range and have a noisy version of The Two Minutes hate.

Put the target on the target holder and run it out to your usual practice distance.  With your weapon of choice, slowly and hatefully put holes in the target, knowing that each bullet you fire is also going through the photo on the inside.  As you do this, the hatred and anger that you feel with also be transmitted to the subconscious minds of everyone in the country.  If all goes well, lots of people who normally would not even notice, will feel totally unreasoning hatred every time they see the face of the target and anything he represents will be the cause equal revulsion.

Save the target and when you get home, remove your picture from the input plate and replace it with the target.  Now, the target is probably going to be too large for that plate so take a sheet of foil, glue it to a sheet of cardboard, wire that to the input and put the hole-filled target on that to broadcast the energy you have put into it to whole country.  Set the rate and let it go.

Nature will do the rest.

Why are they so stupid?

2018/02/22

I don’t get it.  I really don’t get it.  Why is that when people decide they want to blast a school they insist on using guns?  Guns can only kill a limited number of targets and the shooters always get caught.

If they had any brains they would use psionics and do a lot more damage with no danger of being caught at all.  All they would need is a photo of the school and a flashlight.  These people are just so damned dumb!

Xotar Day 2018

2018/02/19

xotar

Today we celebrate Xotar theWeapons Master and it is appropriate, for never have we had greater need for psionic weapons than at this time.

A Death in the Family

2018/01/23

Brunhilda Cosimano. May 2000-January 22 2017.
There is a hole in our hearts today. Our friend, companion and pet, Brunhilda has gone to the fortress in the Astral that I have prepared for the next life. I have few words to say, only that a man who has no tears has no heart and I am shedding enough right now to float an aircraft carrier.
She gave us pleasure for 17 years and I hope that we gave her as much in return. One of her last acts was when I bent down to pet her last night, she grabbed my hand with her paw and held it to her face.
She passed peacefully this morning just after we got out of bed.
RIP little friend. Wait for me. I am an old man and it will not be long until I join you.

One little thing pusscake.  IF you read this, please, please please, do not let the other cats talk you into playing in the Fire Control Stadium.  Those guns can cause serious natural disasters back here on Earth.

Ave atque Vale.

Call them what they are.

2017/12/12

whores

It’s Time for a Christmas Carol

2017/12/04

The first Noel, the angels did say,

Was to frighten the shephards in fields where they lay.

In fields where they lay, having sex with the sheep,

On a cold winter’s night they dove so deep.

 

Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel.

There was no El so they took the bus.

 

The gay Angels look down, from way afar

And saw the shephards bare rears sticking up at the star,

And as Roman soldiers sat there, polishing their shields,

The angels buggered the shephards right there in the fields.

 

Noel, noel, noel, noel,

There  was no EL so they took the bus.

 

The Wise Men came, following the star,

And stopped at a brothel ’cause the door was ajar.

In the morning they left, leaving behind them,

Some very happy hookers with a very rare gem.

 

Noel, noel, noel, noel,

There was no El so they took the bus.

 

The innkeeper looked out, hearing the noise,

And he thought that his daughters had brought home some boys.

He looked in the manger and saw the former virgin

Servicing Joseph, two goats and three horny wise men.

 

Noel, noel, noel, noel,

There was no El so they took the bus.

 

 

Experiment.

2017/12/02

I do not know if it is possible to use psionics to perform mass sterilization on an ethnic group.  It will be interesting to see if it can.

Benefits

2017/11/18

On of the benefits of being the bad guy, and doing it openly and notoriously, is that nothing can ever come back to bite.

If anyone tries to bring up something from your past, you don’t have to deny it, you just laugh and say, “Yeah.  That was fun!”  Believe me, it shuts people up because they don’t know how to respond to being laughed at and it is a lot less work (and expense) than having your loyal minions give the accuser an hand grenade hysterectomy and then she can be under the hashtag #megoboom.

Appropriate as that is, hand grenades on the black market are quite pricey and it violates the fundamental principal that one must be neat in one’s murders.  Body parts spread all over are a god awful mess to clean up.  There is also the fact that explosives are pretty easy to trace so unless you have expert hit men on the family payroll, so you don’t accidentally hire an undercover cop, it is just not practical.  People are always complaining how difficult it is for an honest made man to get work these days and how they are often tempted to do legitimate work.   Complain complain complain!  But I digress.

On the other hand, if banishing her with laughter does not work, you can always use psionics to make body parts stop working.  Remember.  folks die of natural causes all the time.

Now see, aren’t you glad you have your Uncle Chuckie to explain these things to you?

Binding Santa Muerte

2017/11/04

Laurie3

A ritual from the late 1980s.  It must have worked because I’m still alive.