Archive for January, 2010

Weather and Politics


I used to be of the opinion that the reason they scheduled the President’s State of the Union speech in January was because they had nothing better to do with their time. Now I realize it was a plot to take advantage of the terrible weather in January, with the assumption that everyone would be stuck inside and have no choice but to listen to it.

In the 1950s-1970s that pretty much worked. There were only the three networks and a few independent stations in most markets. But now people have a choice and no one except partisans watch the damned thing. We have more interesting things to do with our time and it is much more fun to watch the aftermath when it becomes obvious that no one was paying any attention to it.

Now, if those damned fool politicians would figure out a way to speed up global warming so we could get rid of winter, then they might be of some use. But playing recordings of Presidential speeches just does not put out enough hot air to accomplish that.


No news worth printing


Things have been pretty slow lately, nothing really interesting to write about. I mean how many things can you say about Haiti? It had an earthquake. Earthquakes happen.

Of course that does not stop a bunch of damned fools from thinking that there was a conspiracy behind it. I’m sorry. I can’t imagine anyone in their right mind wanting Haiti to begin with. Even the Haitians don’t want it. That is why the keep going to Florida.

The Miracle of the Shopping Carts


Like most people, I was under the illusion that shopping cars came from factories.

Well, I was wrong.

A couple of years ago we had the winter from hell. It snowed and it snowed and no matter how many small children we sacrificed to Pazuzu it kept snowing. And the piles of snow kept growing around the grocery store parking lot.

Then spring finally came and the snow began to melt.

And a miracle happened. While we were freezing our rear ends off, and the wooley mammoth had come down with the glaciers to attempt to mate with the neighbor’s pickup truck (mammoth are notoriously nearsighted), shopping cars had been growing in the snow banks near the grocery store. As the layers of snow melted away, slowing a shopping car would appear out of the ice, and then when free, it would roll down and another cart would appear. And this happened all over the parking lot. Shopping carts just appeared out of the piles of melting snow.

So now you know the truth. Shopping carts grow in snow piles around grocery stores.

A new year


And a new decade, one in which we may, if the gods allow, make people think the previous one heaven on earth by comparison.

This year is centenary of the first experiments by Dr. Albert Abrams, which led to radionics. It would be wonderful if this year, in his honor, all hell could be made to break loose.

Of course given the state of the world, who would notice?