Archive for September, 2015

This Will Be a Good One.

2015/09/27

It has been pointed out to me by a faithful Cosimaniac that we don’t have any rituals in Cosimanian Orthodoxy. He’s right. I never thought about it but it would probably be a good idea to have one. Here it is.

One of the things we learn from studying how religions take over is that they steal ideas from existing structures. The lickspittle Pagan wimps get all weirded out about this and decry “cultural appropriation,” like it actually matters. We Cosimanians don’t give a fuck. If it is good we steal it. Of course one of the things we have to realize is that Cosimanian Orthodoxy is based on Psionics which is exclusively modern and Western, so there is not much out there to steal in other cultures. To put it mildly, they have nothing we would want.

That being said, there is one Western idea we can steal–the Eucharist.

NO! Uncle Chuckie has no intention of getting himself killed. I’m talking about ceremonial injestion, not of ritualized body parts, but of energy.

So, here is what you need.

A photo of Uncle Chuckie, easily found online as you already know or you would not be reading this.

A radionic box set to the divine wisdom of Uncle Chuckie. If you don’t have a radionic box holding the food up to the picture and visualizing the energy going into it will do.

A chocolate chip cookie. Actually any cookie will do but I’m having a bit of a craving for a chocolate chip one while I’m writing this.

After charging the cookie with the energy of Uncle Chuckie, all you need do is eat it saying before you do, “Blood and souls for Uncle Chuckie!”

It will make you feel good.

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Destroyer Day Has Come Again

2015/09/25

invisible destroyer

And this year we have good reason to unleash destruction upon the world.

Worst Interview Ever

2015/09/04

One of the downsides of a small to the point of quantum modicum of fame, other than the obvious one of people assuming I am rich, is that occasionally I have put my voice into the public sphere without knowing what hell I am going to say. Usually this happens when the show is done by a friend who, being aware of the multiplicity of my interests as well as my notorious wit and charm just sort of tries to pick a topic that I have no interest in or any knowledge of.

To make matters worse, the cohost was another friend of hers and she thought because of our senses of humor it would make a great show.

It was a great disaster. My public wit tends to be cultured, urbane and cynical. This fellow must have fallen out of the back of the pickup truck and kept bouncing on his head until he ended up falling head first into the moonshine still next to the family outhouse. It was all I could do not to eviscerate him during the taping. I did let him have it a few times and it was pretty obvious that my contempt was starting to really drip.

My friend, realizing that I was about go full bore Dr. Doom on this cretin, ended the show. And then we talked in IM afterwards. She said it was a great show. Of course, how could it not be. I was on it! I told her that it sucked, I was disgusted and I would not be a guest again. She was dumbfounded and kept trying to make excuses for the refugee from Hog Hollow.

Anyway, we are going re-do this thing, without the presence of Hiram Hillbilly and hopefully it will work this time. We’ll see.